Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize