would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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