I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
