Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
