I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize