Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We need to rekindle our bromance
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
