i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize