thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
