wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
