Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
