he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im holly from the hills drunk
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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