ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
