we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
