have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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