My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
