there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
