haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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