Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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