I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
