He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
