You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
