did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
