I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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