Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
