she was so not down for the gang bang
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
