Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
