i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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