he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
