Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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