Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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