Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
