I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
