Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
