i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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