The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
porn star boner night. come get it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
