So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
