Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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