Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize