Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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