Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
