so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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