I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize