i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
should my penis look like a turkey
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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