There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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