Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
