If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
