ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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