the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
