Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
