This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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