You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
