You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
