No awkward lesbian experiences without me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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