ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
