Don't make out with my wife yet
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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