Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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