sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
