the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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