I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
