Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
