Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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